


Signs

by CallItMagic



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 18:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1559558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallItMagic/pseuds/CallItMagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is trying to readjust to civilian life, but why does he feel like he's being followed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signs

It wasn't the first time Steve had been held at gun point. It was however, the first time he’d been held a gun point by someone dressed as Santa. He looked down the dark barrel upwards towards his opponent’s bearded face and rosy cheeks – expression dripping with malice. Hydra had undercover agents everywhere apparently, even in small malls two weeks before Christmas.  
‘Haven’t they heard of holiday spirit?’ Steve pondered morosely.  
“Well, what are you waiting for?” he inquired  
“Company.” Replied Evil Santa, gesturing to the woman dressed as an elf as she entered the grotto.  
Brilliant. Just what he needed. She pulled a gun out of a stocking and jabbed it sharply between his shoulder blades.  
“Walk. Outside.” She hissed.  
They were obviously trying to take him alive, they could have shot him by now if that was their intention. He needed an escape plan fast. Stepping outside, snow had started to fall. First snow of the year. He would have enjoyed it a lot more if he wasn’t at risk of having his head blown off by two comically cheesy hydra assassins. They approached an armored truck, doors open, already ready to take him away. He knew this was his last chance. Steve leapt into action, kicking the gun out of the elf’s hand while grappling with the Evil Santa for his. He mentally berated himself for not agreeing to be armed while off duty. No shield, no gun. He can heal from bullet wounds, but he wasn’t invincible. He managed to pry the gun from Evil Santa just as the Elf found hers again. Steve pulled the gun to Santa’s head grimly, shielding himself behind him as the Elf raised the gun towards them.  
“Don’t shoot,” He exclaimed, “Or risk shooting your partner too.”  
“Oh don’t you know Cap? Cut off one head and two will take its place” She replied smiling sinisterly. She shot, Steve felt it pierce through his shoulder and cried out in pain.  
Suddenly, before she had chance to shoot again, a deafening bang echoed in the air and she dropped to the floor limp and lifeless. Shocked by what had happened Steve froze, long enough for the hydra agent he was holding to fight his way out of his grip sprinting towards the truck. There was another shot and he fell to the ground, blood staining the crisp white snow. Steve whipped his head around looking for the sniper, checking the rooftops of the surrounding buildings, and saw a dark figure hastily making his escape. Already injured, he knew pursuing was a waste of time. He could already guess who the mystery sniper was.  
Bucky  
He pulled his cell out of his pocket and dialled Sam  
“Sam, I need you to meet me at the hospital. I saw him Sam. He’s still alive”

They had searched every abandoned Hydra base looking for Bucky, following every lead that the report given to them by Natasha had led to. Every one of them was a dead end; only leading to more unanswered question about Bucky’s past. The winter soldier himself had disappeared, like a ghost, just as Natasha had said. But he wasn’t put on ice this time. This time he was out without a mission. Sam and Steve had wondered what this would mean. They’d hollowed him out, all he knew was the next mission, and without that what would he do? They didn’t know. After months of searching to no avail, they grimly accepted that The Winter Solider had a self-terminate protocol in the event of a hydra fall.  
Steve couldn’t help but hope he was still out there. He had tried his best to blend into civilian life, in a civilisation that he still couldn’t fully comprehend. It was taking time but he was getting there. But Bucky’s cameo appearance at the mall that day had changed everything.  
“You’re going after him again.” Sam stated, it wasn’t a question. He already knew the answer. Steve had healed, it had only taken a few weeks and a sling.  
“Sam, I’m all he’s got, I can’t just give up on him. He was following me and he saved my life. That has to mean something. He must remember something I coul—“  
“What about you though Steve! What about what you’ve got! You could build a life now.”  
“Not with so many loose ends. I’ve got to try”  
Sam paused at this, considering.  
“Well you know I’m with you, if you’re going after him again you’re not doing it alone”  
“I think I’ll have to this time, Sam”

Trudging through the snow, Steve scanned the rooftops discretely looking for a sign of Bucky. Since their last run in he’d become more watchful. If he was really being followed, he just needed Bucky to slip up. But he knew that The Winter Soldier wasn’t programmed to slip up. He carried out his missions efficiently without error. He needed to draw him out again, hopefully without anyone getting killed this time. His eye was drawn to an unassuming silver car, seemingly inexpensive, not quite as modern as the other cars of this age. A seemingly normal car. Except that the same car had passed him at least 5 times. ‘It must be doing circuits’ Steve assessed, astonished that he hadn’t noticed sooner. Female driver. So The Winter Soldier wasn’t the only one following him. Who were they, government? Hydra? Steve couldn’t take the risk, he picked up his pace, ducking into the subway. He had to go somewhere they wouldn’t expect. He had to go back to his apartment.  
Since getting out of the hospital after taking down the helicarriers, he and Sam had travelled all over America and parts of Europe looking for Bucky. He’d then moved in with Sam. He hadn’t wanted to live alone after feeling like he had given up on his friend. Opening the door he instantly pictured Fury’s body on the floor. Remembered seeing Bucky retreating and breaking through his window to follow him. He hadn’t known then. Would he have been able to catch him if he had known then? Why was Bucky always just out of his reach? Steve sank to his knees by the repaired window, burying his face in his hands. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for everything that had happened to Bucky. Leading him into danger during the war. Losing him. Finding him again, only to not have him remember who he was anymore. But he’d saved him. That had to mean something.  
Steve came to his senses and realised he wasn’t alone. He could feel that he was being watched. He hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights, the room was dark except from light from the streets through the windows.  
“Who’s there?” He asked the darkness, pulling himself up, and drawing a pistol from his pocket.  
Silence. Until.  
“It’s me Steve.” A voice replied. Steve released a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. He didn’t put the gun down though, knowing that it could still be a trap.  
“I’ve been waiting for you to come back here,” the voice continued. That voice. It opened the floodgates to a million memories.  
“I see you’ve finally noticed they’ve been following you. Hydra isn’t gone. And those left in charge have put a price on your head.” The floorboards creaked as James Buchanan Barnes moved around in the dark.  
“That’s why those people at the mall tried to take you out, they were the only ones to get that close. I killed the rest as well” Bucky continued.  
“Buck—“  
“The ‘me’ you knew would feel remorse for that, wouldn’t he?”  
“He wouldn’t.” Steve answered truthfully. “Not for people trying to kill me”  
Bucky stepped forward into the light, staring directly at Steve, “And who are you exactly? Who are you to me? Steve Rogers? Captain America? Leader of the howling commandos?”  
“I’m your friend.” Steve replied lowing his gun.  
Bucky exhaled derisively, breaking eye contact. “I don’t remember you. I know the things I’ve read, I feel like I know you but I can’t remember. I can’t let anything happen to you, I’ve been running around protecting you for months and I can’t remember why. It doesn’t make sense. You don’t even need me, look at you” he gestured at Steve, “You don’t need protecting, you’re Captain America for Christ’s sake. But I’m with you until the end of the line anyway.”  
Those words made Steve feel weak. They made him feel like he was still skinny and small. The feeling he had when he knew Bucky had his back. To a time when he thought that he always would.  
“We can help you remember Buck.”  
“What if I don’t want to? How can I be him again after everything I’ve done? How can I be Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes with so much blood on my hands? Am I not enough as I am?” Bucky rambled, drawing closer to Steve as he spoke, like a moth to a flame. Steve was like a beacon to him. His jumbled memories had painted Steve as a symbol of hope, the only thing familiar in a new world that neither of them were prepared for.  
“It’s enough James. It’s enough” Steve gasped, pulling The Winter Soldier towards him, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his shoulder as his friend crumbled under the weight of everything he had lost. Bucky wished he could remember this man, he wished he could remember why he made his pulse race and his chest ache. He wished he could remember as he returned his embrace, holding Steve tightly as hot tears ran silently down his face. 

 

They stayed like that for what felt like hours, when it could only have been a few minutes, until Bucky was calm again. Drawing apart The Winter Soldier ran his hand down Steve’s arm pausing at his wrist.  
“He loved you, you know,” Bucky murmured, little more than a whisper, “the old me. Did you know?”  
“I didn't know. I love him too though,” Steve replied. Bucky glanced up at him, meeting his gaze.  
“I didn’t mean as a brother.” He stated bluntly.  
“Neither did I.”  
“Even the monster?”  
“You’re not a monster Buck,” Steve muttered. The Winter Soldier was still holding his wrist with his bionic arm, Steve wondered if he knew.  
“I don’t understand it but please, just let me-,” Bucky whispered raising his hand to hold Steve’s face. Before he could ask he was already answered, Steve’s mouth met his halfway as they gripped each other desperately. Steve ran his hand through Bucky’s hair, cupping the back of his head as Bucky moved both of his hands to his waist. They broke apart gasping for air. Steve leaned his forehead against Bucky’s. The Winter Soldier pulled Steve flush against his body. He’d lost weight since they last saw each other, Steve could tell. His hair was slighly longer than he remembered, brushing against the tops of his shoulders. His face was whiskered and unkempt, with dark circles under his eyes. Understandable after being on the run for so long from both Hydra agents who wanted him back and government agencies that wanted to hold him accountable for his actions. Even if he couldn’t remember them. Even though he never had a choice. Steve ran his hand across the joint where the metal met his friend.  
“Stay.” He pleaded, almost begging. “Let me help you. Don’t leave me again.”  
“I can’t promise that.”  
“Then stay tonight,” Steve insisted, whispering the words against his skin, drawing him back for another kiss and pushing him up against the wall, holding his head gently in his hands. Bucky gasped at the action, nipping at Steve’s lips. He hadn’t ever allowed himself to be this vulnerable.  
“I’ll stay tonight.”  
Nothing else was said. Nothing else was needed except mute assurances of affection and softly spoken names. Gasps and moans from two broken soldiers, as they wrote promises on one another’s skin, silent vows that this would not be forgotten. They’d both lost too much to lose this too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave me feedback so I can improve \o/


End file.
